I’m a 34 year old average guy that decided to something insane and ludicrous. I decided to wait in line for a PS3 and this is my story.

I arrived home from work at around 3:00pm Thursday November 16th and had decided a few days before to be at my local Wal-Mart at around midnight to wait for a PS3. I decided to call another Wal-Mart to see how many they would be selling and they said they were getting 6 and there were already more than 6 in line. Crap……I hightail it to my local Wal-Mart which I knew was only getting 2 and low and behold, no one was in line. I setup shop there with my 14 year old step daughter and was prepared for the long haul. Not long after we were there a manager came out and said it would be one per family not per person. Me being the honest fellow I am admitted that the second person in line was my 14 year old step daughter. We called her mother to come get her which was a good thing for the night that followed was filled with a strange cast of characters.

The best way I could describe how I felt this night was I felt like an American Soldier all alone in an Iraqi market downtown Baghdad. I was surrounded by people that seemed decent and acted as if they wanted me there but deep down they wished I was 6 feet under.

Since my step daughter was ineligible for this sale the second spot was up for grabs, I was just waiting for someone. Along came Adam. A young guy of 26, Adam seemed shocked that there was someone in line already. I explained to him about Ebay, he didn’t know what it was which makes me wonder why he would show up so early and pay this exorbitant price for a gaming system to not just flip it on ebay.
Adam was under the assumption that Wal-Mart took layaway for the PS3. I told him to ask a manager to make sure and of course there was no layaway. Adam looked panicked, I could see the rolodex in his brain working overtime to find out how to get more money as he came with only $170 in Wal-Mart gift cards, he did manage get his skeptical father to bring him $640 more. His father ‘Leery Guy’ was grilling me about everything to do with ebay and how much they could make and all the meantime gawking at the prepubescent females that came and went….ewwwwww. ‘Leery guy’ finally left.

Now the worst part of waiting in line with my chair and a book is the strange looks you get from passerby’s. They looked at us like we were homeless and decided to stake our claim in front of Wal-Mart. I purposely avoided eye contact with customers but what I should have really done was put down my ball cap and collected spare change. I didn’t know if this was against Wal-Mart’s “crazy people camped outside waiting for PS3’s” policy so I didn’t risk it.
A deaf guy did come up and hand us a card asking for money…hmm let me think, give deaf guy money or use money for PS3??? Go away deaf guy!!!

From about 5:30pm to 11:00pm when Wal-Mart closes we had young guys come up and ask how many PS3’s they had there, we would tell them and they would leave. We were hoping that this would be the way it was all night, no such luck.

Other than myself and Adam I’ll refer to the people we interacted with all night by their personalities.

At 11pm ‘Crazy Lady’ and her ‘Bratty Kid’ showed up in line. We told her how many systems were waiting inside and she didn’t believe us, the manager came out and told her that there were only 2 and she didn’t believe him either. It’s 8 hours until they are on sale so not sure why ‘Crazy Lady’ thinks they would be lying but whatever, I was in spot one so I could care less if she waited or not. Not long after ‘Crazy Lady’ arrived ‘Gamer’ guy showed up with his chair, sleeping bag and wool toque(a Canadian stocking cap EH!) A few minutes later “Daddy sent by Mommy to wait for system for kids” came along with his chair and blanket as well. Things were starting to get interesting. The night manager came out once again, explained that there were 2 systems but these people seemed to not care for some reason, they had their sites set on this system at all costs. “Crazy Lady” was inching closer and closer towards the door but I wasn’t concerned, I would have snapped her in half if I had too. I was either getting one of these systems are someone was getting severely hurt, it’s up to them.

Now I should mention that earlier in the evening the temperature felt very nice but after midnight crept by the temperature was dropping and the rain was continuous. A card game broke out using the side of a Wal-Mart shopping cart as a table. Not a really good platform to play cards on but hey, what the hell.
I now know why homeless people live with their shopping carts, they are GREAT! They are a card table, foot rest, storage container and fence all rolled into one product. Mr Cart you made a great product.

When ‘Bratty Kid’ was cold and tired ‘Crazy lady’ jumped. We offered to sell our spots in line for $3000 and ‘Bratty Kid’ wanted his mom to go to bank machine and pay us. Finally ‘Bratty Kid’ and ‘Crazy Lady’ left, but they would be back!

Now gamer guy was third in line and he was digging in for the night, his theory was if should one of us die then he would get one. I hadn’t spend a full night before with someone that wished you ill health but I didn’t take it personally.
One thing I forgot to bring with me that night was a toque, my ears were freezing and this was a bit of concern. I wanted to offer to buy ‘Gamer’ guy’s toque but I didn't offer to buy his toque because that would have shown a sign of weakness on my part and I had to keep my rock like persona to hang on.

Around 1:30am ‘Scary guys’ showed up. There was 2 of them, they pulled up and opened window and asked how many they had there, when we told them 2 they got mad and said they already had three reserved and they sped off. Hope those guys don’t come back but no such luck of course.

“Daddy sent by Mommy to wait for system for kids” finally clued in that he wasn’t getting a system and walked away mumbling ‘Wife shouldn’t be mad because I waited long enough’. He seemed genuinely scared of his wife, dude call 1-800-dr-phil.

Around this time the night staff came out for their lunch and hung out with us, there was about 20 of them which I didn’t mind because people that were driving by would just assume they were waiting in line for a system too. I should mention I think I know have lung cancer from second hand smoke, I was in a continuous cloud of smoke all night long, I was the only person there that didn’t smoke so feel free to bid up this auction so I can enjoy the rest of my life. I would have rather had an asbestos blanket than breathe in all that smoke.

After the night staff’s lunch break ‘Soccer Mom’ showed up driving her Toyota Camry and again we informed her that there was 2 systems, she also didn’t care. I guess people don’t care for sleep. I tried to sleep but I always remained at a cat like readiness just in case. ‘Soccer Mom’ has 19 year old and 16 year old sons. They were nice enough to set their mother’s alarm for 3am for her so she could come in line to get them a PS3 while they slept warmly in their beds. ‘Soccer Mom’ seemed nice enough but I question her son’s for sending her to sit in line with a bunch of degenerate men waiting for game systems. She was way too normal to be sitting there with us. F-bombs were flying like Israeli rockets in southern Lebanon (ok that’s a little dated but I’m working on no sleep here). She didn’t seem to mind, she just sat quietly and listened intently, I think she was gathering information to try and figure out our weaknesses.

5am rolled around and there was more people coming into line, there was ‘Old smelly, spoil my grandkid’ man, ‘This is more exciting than when PSP packaged with Spiderman 2 came out’ kid, ‘Why is there a lineup?, I’m here to buy boots’ guy amongst others.

This is the tough part, I started feeling the pressure, I had to piss so bad but no way I was leaving that line at this point, I forgot my depends, shows you what an amateur I am at this. Around this time ‘Scary Guys’ returned. They pulled into parking lot and creeped through and parked in such a way as they are just glaring at you in line, specifically at myself and Adam. They just stayed in their car watching us while ‘Big Pimpin’ was blaring throughout the air. I thought ‘Ok I knew it was too good to be true, I’m going to die at a Wal-Mart entrance and I don’t even live in a trailer park.’

These guys get out of their car and they had these long leather jackets on, both loked scruffy and they looked like they pull out a glock and waste us all at any moment. They seemed very confrontational, I was about to piss my pants but not because I was scared though. WHEN WILL THIS NIGHT END???????

Around 6am the day crew starting coming in and the day manager who I first saw the previous day came and stated again that there was only 2 systems and he pointed that Adam and myself were the ones that were going to get them as he remembered us from the day before. How sad I thought to myself, this guy leaves work and were in line, he goes home, has dinner, watches tv and some quiet time, goes to sleep, gets up, has breakfast, showers (presumably) and comes back to work and were still there. I was starting to feel like a big loser at this point.

We were allowed into the lobby to wait now which was nice as it was warm there. I left my chair and blanket outside, I could care less if someone took them at this point, I wiped my nose so many times on that blanket that if that blanket was dropped into a city’s water supply well lets just say the terrorists would have been blamed for the deaths.
Kelly(my significant other, ya ya we’ll get married someday, we’ve only been together for 10 ½ years.) showed up and I mouthed to her to bring my van out front and leave it running. Hell ya I was paranoid at this time I didn’t want anything to screw this up, I had to get this PS3!!!

To make a long story actually pretty damn long, Adam and myself received our PS3’s with a hoard of vultures around us just praying that our credit card’s wouldn’t work. I figured I had 5 credit cards and a debit card I could have used so I was good to go.
We were escorted out the front doors and I jumped into my van and drove home the longest way possible to ensure I wasn’t followed.

So please bid on this auction knowing all the emotional distress and mental anguish I had to go through to get this damn thing. Don’t disappoint me!! Seacrest out!